You know about the beaches, the caipirinhas, and the supermodels. But guess what? There's way more to Brazil than Gisele and skimpy swimsuits.
All eyes will be on the South American country as the 2016 Summer Olympics kick off in Rio de Janeiro this weekend. Beyond the fears about Zika and pollution, it's Brazil's time to shine. With the Opening Ceremony slated for Friday night, we thought we'd help shed a little more light.
If a flight to Rio isn't in your immediate future, a movie night may be able to help fill in some of the blanks. Brazilian cinema has produced several award-winning contributions, with subject matters ranging from life in the favelas to political oppression to that old standard: first love. There's a real depth, not to mention performances that have fetched Oscars.
Intrigued? Crack open the cachaça and settle in for some cinematic delights.
Black Orpheus (Orfeu Negro) (1959)
This Oscar-winning classic is famed for its bossa nova soundtrack, but its love story inspired by the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice has also stood the test of time.
Video: Courtesy of The Criterion Collection.
City of God (Cidade de Deus)(2002)
This Oscar-nominated crime drama gave international audiences a searing look at life in Rio's favelas, where many of the actors actually lived. The film also spawned a spinoff TV show and second film, both titled City of Men.
Video: Courtesy of Miramax.
The Way He Looks (Hoje Eu Quero Voltar Sozinho)(2014)
The arrival of a new male student gives blind teen Leonardo pause as he questions his sexuality and romantic possibilities in this coming-of-age drama.
Video: Courtesy of Vitrine Films.
Kiss of the Spider Woman (O Beijo da Mulher-Aranha)(1985)
William Hurt won an Oscar for his portrayal of Luis Molina, a man imprisoned for homosexual acts. The late Raúl Juliá co-stars as the leftist cellmate who slowly develops a friendship and romantic relationship with Molina as political and bureaucratic entanglements threaten their existence.
Video: Courtesy of FilmDallas Pictures.
The House of Sand (Casa de Areia)(2005)
Real-life mother and daughter Fernanda Montenegro and Fernanda Torres play two women stranded in the Brazilian desert during the early 20th century. The story intertwines with scientific phenomena, war, and a dystopian-like emptiness as time passes with no escape in sight.
Video: Courtesy of Columbia TriStar/Sony.
Trash(2014)
Rooney Mara and Martin Sheen appear in this film, but the real stars are Rickson Tevez (Raphael), Eduardo Luis (Gardo), and Gabriel Weinstein (Rat). The three street kids get caught up in a corrupt government plot when they find a wallet in a favela trash pile.
Video: Courtesy of Universal Studios.
Central Station (Central do Brasil)(1998)
Fernanda Montenegro received a Best Actress Oscar nomination for her role as a caustic middle-aged woman, who reluctantly takes in a young homeless boy looking for his father. Expect to tear up as their bond grows closer.
Video: Courtesy of Sony.
Dona Flor and Her Two Husbands (Dona Flor e Seus Dois Maridos)(1976)
Set in 1940s Bahia, this early Sônia Braga comedy tells the story of a woman who remarries after her first husband dies. And then things get kind of kinky.
Video: Courtesy of Embrafilme.
The Year My Parents Went on Vacation (O Ano em Que Meus Pais Saíram de Férias)(2006)
In 1970 12-year-old Mauro is sent to live with his grandfather in a Jewish community when his activist parents go on the run. When the grandfather dies, his Yiddish-speaking neighbours step up.
Video: Courtesy of City Lights Pictures.
The Second Mother (Que Horas Ela Volta?)(2015)
Tensions rise when a long-time live-in housemaid's daughter comes to live with the family. The film tackles both parental guilt and class differences.
Video: Courtesy of Oscilloscope.
Adrift (À Deriva)(2009)
This coming-of-age story sees a young girl struggling to accept that her family isn't as perfect as she once thought. Meanwhile, French actor Vincent Cassel manages to convincingly pull off Portuguese dialogue as the teen's philandering father.
Video: Courtesy of Focus World.
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Each year, more than 15 million Muslims from all around the world make a spiritual pilgrimage to the sacred city of Mecca in Saudi Arabia. With that many visitors, the area needs plenty of hotel space. And, as Travel + Leisure reports, it will soon have it with the opening of the Abraj Kudai — which will be the largest hotel in the world.
This 1.4-million-square-meter building cost a whopping £2.6 billion to build. Once Abraj Kudai is complete, it will have more than 10,000 rooms. Accommodations aren't the only thing this massive hotel will offer in large numbers. T+L also reports that there will be 70+ restaurants within the complex. For comparison, consider that that's more than some entire towns (like, alot more).
The structure itself is comprised of 12 towers, 10 of which will reportedly provide 4-star accommodations to normals. The other two will offer a 5-star experience catering to a more exclusive clientele. The Saudi royal family will also have five floors all to themselves, according to The Guardian. Swooping in will be easy; there are five rooftop helipads.
Abraj Kudai is expected to open next year, but don't panic about being first to make your reservations. After all, there are plenty of rooms. (Travel + Leisure)
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When I hear my mum say this, during one of our biweekly phone conversations, I hear regret. Immediately, I rush to make her feel better. “Oh, you didn’t do that terrible a job!” I say convivially. “Anyway, all’s well that ends well, right?”
But the moment is uncomfortable. It’s the closest I have ever heard my mum come to saying she’s sorry — which, in some ways, is exactly what I’ve always wanted to hear.
I assume my mother is saying she’s sorry, only I’m not sure what she’s apologising for: Nearly a decade later, I don’t know if she’s still sorry for the fact that I became a sex worker, or for the way she reacted when she found out.
Growing up, my mum and I were best friends. It was because of her that I went to college. She was a secretary at a racetrack, raising me and my brother on her own, and she wanted to see that her daughter had opportunities she didn’t.
Our relationship changed when, during my sophomore year, I started working as a stripper.
In a piece for xoJane years ago, I first talked about the email she sent, confronting me about the fact that I was hiding my occupation. She said she was humiliated. “I know you're stripping,” she said. “I am not a stupid or naive woman.”
“This is all my fault,” it went on. “If I hadn’t been broke on my ass all the time and able to give you adequate spending money, none of this would’ve happened.”
She compared my having lied about my job to her ex-husband (my father’s) adultery. She said it made her want to puke. She ended that email, “I hope you know what you’re doing.” For her sake, from then on, I pretended I did.
These days, I don’t blame my becoming a sex worker for the rift in our relationship. In college, I began to realise that my mum and I had issues long before this. Parents aren’t supposed to be their child’s “best friends”; they’re supposed to be parents. Besides, we weren’t just best friends — I was my mum’s only friend.
I also know that my mum’s reaction wasn’t necessarily the likely outcome. Parents of sex workers don’t always automatically reject their children. Recently, adult-film actress Kitty Stryker shared her experience of how the revelation that she was working in the sex industry actually brought her and her mother closer together. When her mother discovered she was making adult movies, Stryker says that she and her mum began to talk more. They started sharing feminist writings on sex work and discussing the ins and outs of ethical porn. They talked about self-care. “My mother didn't yell at me, or talk over me, or dictate to me what I should or shouldn't be doing,” Stryker says. “She listened.”
Sex workers, current and former, aren’t the only ones with tenuous maternal relationships or no relationship at all.
Of course, I know that not everybody has such an open relationship with their mothers. And sex workers, current and former, aren’t the only ones with tenuous maternal relationships or no relationship at all, an estrangement that writer Natasha Vargas-Cooper once described as “the hardest break-up known to the human heart.” As Stryker says, “So many people I know can barely talk to their parents about sex, or their queer identity, or their multiple partners, never mind their lives as sex workers.”
As for me, I told my mum I knew what I was doing, but the truth is, I had no idea. At 19 years old, I was a relative child. I’d started stripping because I needed the money. As a student abroad in Mexico, I was bored and broke, so dancing naked in clubs for cash felt like a solution. But the solution became a problem of its own.
My mother’s response to the discovery that I was stripping was hostile, negative, and shaming. That email exchange was the first and last time we ever talked about it. I knew implicitly that I was never to mention sex work in her presence, and so I didn’t. From then on, she showed significantly less interest in my life. We still talked, but less frequently and less about me. Her rejection tapped into deep-seated childhood fears that I was unlovable. The fear, distrust, and isolation I had already begun to experience as an individual working in the sex industry was compounded. My sense of self was shattered; my sense of trust in my mother destroyed.
A decade later, I call my mum every other Sunday. I call her because I’d feel guilty if I didn’t. I call because I know that if I didn’t, she wouldn’t call me. It’s an unbearable thought, to think that I’d have no relationship with my mother, given that I already have zero relationship with my dad.
When my mum and I talk, we skate over the past as if it were a frozen pond. We stick to neutral topics, like the weather or movies one of us has seen. We talk about politics we both more or less agree on. She tells me about her job.
Underneath the surface, there are parts of myself that go unacknowledged. So long as I was working, any conversation about my finances would awkwardly avoid where that money came from. There are things about my life and my past that I know my mum can’t bear to hear.
I work to accept our relationship for what it is. Meanwhile, I’ve found other places to express my truth and sort through my past, including but not limited to my past as a sex worker. At 27, I went to rehab and got sober. I learned to share honestly at 12-step meetings and in therapy. And I became a writer.
Becoming a writer, coming clean, and telling the truth of my experience saved my life, even as it further complicated my relationship with my mother.
Becoming a writer, coming clean, and telling the truth of my experience saved my life, even as it further complicated my relationship with my mother.
In 2010, I lost my job as a public school teacher when it became front-page news that I was writing and sharing stories of my sex-work past. On my last official day as a teacher, I published a heartfelt personal essay on The Rumpus. In it, I talked about the poverty I’d experienced as a kid, and how sex work was a means to socioeconomic opportunity. I talked about loss, and grief, and fear. I wrote of financial insecurity, and not knowing what I was going to do now that I’d just been rendered unemployable. I didn’t come out and say it, but at that time in my life, I felt tempted to return to the sex industry — which, by then, was work I’d grown to loathe. Instead, I talked about becoming a writer, and what my writing meant to me.
Some days later, my mum sent me an email. In it, she complained I’d painted a “distorted picture of [my] oh so poor childhood.” She threatened to discredit me publicly if I continued to embarrass her in print.
I wrote her back. I told her what I should have told her years ago, when she first confronted me about the fact that I was dancing: I said that I was sorry she was embarrassed by my work. I told her that I loved her; I loved her very much — but I would not stop living my truth.
Even though I’m still figuring out where I stand with my own mother, I’ve recently begun reflecting on the kind of mother I’d make, given my particular circumstances. And I’ve realised that I’m not the only sex worker who has grappled with this.
“There’s this painful thing that happens when you’re a sex worker and become a mother,” former sex worker Meg Vallee Munoz recently reflected. “You start to realize how incredibly intense a mother’s love is, yet start to question why your own mother’s love was not strong enough to reject stigma and accept you.”
At 36 years old, newly engaged, and on the verge of starting a family of my own, I wonder if I haven’t questioned this long enough. Lately, my mum likes to talk about my upcoming wedding. I’m glad that I can give her that. Sure, a part of me wants to deny her the pleasure, just as I have felt denied and rejected for so much of my adult life. But the better part of me knows this attitude would only hurt me. We’ve both hurt for long enough.
At the darkest times in my life, I didn’t think I’d ever have a family. Deep down, I feared I was unlovable. Damaged goods. I thought I would never want kids, and was afraid I wouldn’t make a very good mother. If I’ve learned anything from my relationship with my own mother, it’s that everyone needs permission to be who they are, even if that means making mistakes. I won’t make a perfect mum, but I’m sure I’ll do all right — because I know I’ll do my best. As for my relationship with my own mother, for now we accept each other as best we can, even as we struggle to accept ourselves.
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A British Muslim woman was detained and questioned by police after she was reported for “suspicious behaviour” while reading a book about Syrian culture on a flight.
A Thomson Airways crew member reported Faizah Shaheen, 27, an NHS psychotherapist in Leeds, on an outbound flight to Turkey for her honeymoon. Two weeks later, on her return on the 25th of July, she was detained at Doncaster airport, The Guardian reported.
Shaheen was questioned by police for 15 minutes under Schedule 7 of the Terrorism Act, which allows police to detain individuals to determine whether he or she appears to be or has been involved in terrorism.
Police told her the suspicions related to the book she was reading: Syria Speaks: Art and Culture from the Frontline, an award-winning collection of essays, short stories, poems, songs, cartoons and photographs by Syrian authors and artists.
Ironically, Shaheen's work for the NHS involves trying to prevent young mental health patients from becoming radicalised. She said the experience left her tearful and feeling "angry and upset", The Independent reported.
She intends to make a formal complaint against the police, telling The Independent: “I was completely innocent – I was made to feel like a culprit … I couldn’t understand how reading a book could cause people to suspect me like this. I told the police that I didn’t think it was right or acceptable."
She added: “Instead of reminiscing about our honeymoon I am left talking about this experience. I do question if whether it would be different if it was someone who wasn’t Muslim.”
Free speech groups have come to Shaheen's defence. Jo Glanville, director of English PEN, which supported the book’s publication, said the airline should be “highly embarrassed about this gross act of misjudgment,” The Guardian reported.
“The current culture of anxiety around extremism now means that even our reading material has become grounds for suspicion of terrorist activity,” she said. “The freedom to read any book, no matter the subject, is a fundamental cornerstone of our liberty.”
Labour MP Keith Vaz also said Thomson Airways overreacted, telling The Independent: "Reasonable people would not regard reading a book on Syria on its own, without any other concerns, as warranting the questioning of an individual." He said the airline should apologise to Shaheen.
In a statement, Thomson Airways said: “Our crew undergo general safety and security awareness training on a regular basis. As part of this they are encouraged to be vigilant and share any information or questions with the relevant authorities."
The company added: "We appreciate that in this instance Ms Shaheen may have felt that overcaution had been exercised. However, like all airlines, our crew are trained to report any concerns they may have as a precaution.”
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Aside from the obvious effect, the birth-control pill can do all sorts of amazing things, including help prevent some forms of cancer. Now, a new study suggests that taking hormonal contraception may also increase vitamin D levels.
For the study, published today in the Journal of Clinical Endocrinology & Metabolism, researchers looked at data from 1,662 African-American women (ages 23-34) who took part in a previous study. Between 2010 and 2012, all the participants provided a blood sample and completed basic health and demographic questionnaires. As part of that, the researchers collected data on whether or not participants used any form of hormonal birth control or any type of nutritional supplements.
The results showed that women who were currently taking hormonal contraception that contained oestrogen had slightly higher levels of vitamin D in their blood samples. Although the researchers aren't sure exactly what's causing the effect, the fact that only current use of birth control (not past use) was associated with the increase suggests that the oestrogen in the pills is playing a major role.
Normally, our skin produces vitamin D in response to sunlight. Then it’s converted into a form that our bodies can use to improve calcium absorption so we can maintain strong bones. But other studieshave shown that oestrogen might be changing the way our bodies create and process the vitamin.
"It’s a very complicated metabolic pathway, and [oestrogen] may be acting at any point on that pathway,” explains Quaker Harmon, MD, Phd, lead author on the study. "If [oestrogen] enhances production in the skin, you would have more of the early forms of vitamin D, and if it increases how long the vitamin D stays around in the serum or decreases how quickly it's cleared from your serum, that would also increase your levels."
However, compared to taking vitamin D supplements, the effect of hormonal contraception was small. Dr. Harmon explains that it was a 20% increase, approximately equal to that of regularly taking a 200 IU supplement. However, those who regularly took supplements of higher doses saw a 50-70% increase over those who didn't. So the researchers here aren't recommending anyone take hormonal contraception purely for the vitamin D bump.
But this finding could be especially important for women who have been taking birth control and are interested in becoming pregnant. If they have naturally low vitamin D levels, this study suggests that going off contraception may cause a surprising and potentially dangerous drop. Aside from the usual benefits of vitamin D for the mother, it's also necessary for proper growth of the foetal skeleton. So if you're planning to transition from contraception to conception anytime soon, check in with your doctor about your vitamin D.
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Many of us dream of what it would be like to live in the wizarding world. Growing up with Harry Potter meant growing up with an all-consuming desire to live in that magical world full of chocolate frogs, flying broomsticks, and the ability to brew love potions. It's a desire that, even as we reached adulthood, never really went away. Though we’ll never truly know what it’s like to be witches and wizards, now, thanks to Pottermore and TimeOut London, Potter fans can hit up all the London spots in the series.
Pottermore and TimeOut London teamed up to put together an illustrated map that features all the places around London that were mentioned in the Harry Potter books and all the locations where scenes from the movies were filmed. Though it’s no Marauder’s map, it’s definitely the coolest map we’ve ever seen in real life. On it, you’ll find numbered destinations accompanied by illustrations and details about the books and movies in which they appeared.
With this map in hand, you can stop by The London Zoo's reptile house and King's Cross Stations, and maybe even finish the visit off with tickets to Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. Now that would be the ultimate Potter-fan getaway. Seeya, we're checking flights to Heathrow.
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Even if you're not familiar with the phrase "May-December romance," you've definitely seen one out in the wild — and without a doubt on the silver screen. When you notice that one member of a couple is much older than the other, then you've stumbled upon the trope in action. Another thing you've probably picked up on: In heterosexual iterations of these relationships, it's typically the man who has more than a couple years on his female partner. While of course there are plenty of exceptions — both on-screen and in the real world (Demi Moore, we're looking at you) — the truth is that you're just more likely to see an older man with a young woman.
So which big-screen couples fall into this camp? We've pulled together a list of the most memorable May-December love matches in movies. Spoiler: Some of these lovers aren't even in the same generation.
My Fair Lady (1964)
Eliza Doolittle is a flower girl not a flower woman, and Henry Higgins is a grown-ass adult man with a very fancy house. This is a May-December slow-burn romance for sure.
Photo: Moviestore/REX/Shutterstock.
Black Swan(2010)
What you probably remember from this movie is that Natalie Portman has sex dreams about Mila Kunis and ultimately turns into a big scary bird. But you may also recall Portman's intense relationship with her ballet company's director, played by Vincent Cassel, and that these actors are about 15 years apart.
Photo: Snap Stills/REX/Shutterstock.
The Diary of a Teenage Girl (2015)
Minnie is a 15-year-old cartoonist on the brink of sexual self-discovery; Alexander Skarsgård is her mother's boyfriend, and Minnie loses her virginity to him. This isn't quite a Lolita situation, but it's pretty close. Although Minnie is a dream, and frankly a perfect character vehicle for talking about teenage desire.
Photo: Courtesy of Sony Pictures Classics.
Casablanca (1943)
Humphrey Bogart was literally born in a different century than Ingrid Bergman: 1899 to her 1915. And yet, nothing could get in the way of sparks between these two on the silver screen (not even her marriage to someone else in the movie).
Photo: Universal History Archive/REX/Shutterstock.
Nine Lives (2016)
We touched on this already, but just to reiterate: Kevin Spacey (too-busy-for-his-family executive) is way older than Jennifer Garner (his wife in this movie).
Photo: Courtesy of EuropaCorp.
As Good as It Gets (1997)
Melvin (Jack Nicholson) is an OCD romance novelist who is super snarly IRL; Carol (Helen Hunt) is a waitress at a nearby diner — and seemingly the only person who can see the good in Melvin. Spoiler: They fall in love. Another spoiler: These two are a solid quarter century apart on the age front.
Photo: Moviestore/REX/Shutterstock.
Stepmom (1998)
I have some complicated feelings about this movie, but among them is the sizeable age difference between Julia Roberts' character and her hubby-to-be, played by Ed Harris.
Then again, Ed Harris is pretty much timeless, and Julia Roberts has made some deal with the devil where she never ages, so maybe this is less May-December and more just an example of how Death Becomes Her scenarios are a real option for Hollywood's elite stars.
Photo: Moviestore/REX/Shutterstock.
Magic in the Moonlight(2014)
Woody Allen loves pairing pretty young ingenues with much older men, and this movie — which stars Emma Stone and Colin Firth as the lead love interests — is no exception. Stone and Firth, as it happens, are 28 years apart.
Photo: Moviestore/REX/Shutterstock.
Wild Things (1998)
Sexy guidance counsellor? Check. Two high school teens ready to do a little experimenting with an older man? Double check. Denise Richards, Neve Campbell, and Matt Dillon wind up in a little May-December ménage à trois — although, truth be told, the actors were all born within a decade of one another.
Photo: Moviestore/REX/Shutterstock.
How Stella Got Her Groove Back (1998)
Angela Bassett stars as a lovelorn stockbroker (named Stella, duh) who heads to Jamaica to take a break from everyday life. But what she finds there is a hunky Taye Diggs, who's younger enough than she is to raise some eyebrows. Inevitably, Stella has to decide if the age gap matters. But in the meantime, we get to watch her get her groove back with Diggs.
Photo: Moviestore/REX/Shutterstock.
Y Tu Mamá También(2001)
Two teenage boys hit the road with a woman in her late 20s. What happens next is pure May-December.
Photo: Moviestore/REX/Shutterstock.
Adore (2013)
This one's a double header. Two women who grew up together have strapping teenage sons of their own now...and they each wind up in a sexual relationship with the other's kid one summer. Sounds complicated, yes, but it's actually a pretty sexy and provocative little film, starring Naomi Watts and Robin Wright with Australian accents.
Photo: Courtesy of Gaumont.
Election (1999)
Once upon a time, Reese Witherspoon was briefly a queen of dark comedy. (This was, obviously, before Sweet Home Alabama happened.) She played the obsessively driven and sexually awakened high schooler Tracy Flick, who happens to be having an affair with a teacher 20 years her senior.
Photo: Moviestore/REX/Shutterstock.
The Graduate(1967)
If you've ever heard of someone named Mrs. Robinson — well, this movie is where that moniker came from. The plot, in a nutshell: An older, impossibly glamorous woman seduces a 21-year-old postgrad, who ultimately ends up falling for her daughter.
Fun fact: Anne Bancroft was only 35 to Dustin Hoffman's 29 when the movie was shot. So this is really less May-December and more, "Hollywood thinks 35-year-old women are old, but men can play young forever."
Photo: Moviestore/REX/Shutterstock.
The Reader(2008)
This is a movie about Nazi war crimes that also contains a really beautiful little love story: Hanna (Kate Winslet) and Michael Berg (David Kross) had an affair in 1958, when he was a teenager and she a 36-year-old woman. For more about the movie, watch it, because it is amazing — Winslet definitely earned the Oscar for this one — but also please note that it is a textbook example of May-December romance.
Photo: Snap Stills/REX/Shutterstock.
American Beauty (1999)
Now, there are plenty of lovely relationships that exist between two people of completely different generations. Love is loves, folks.
Except when love is a weird, obsession-fuelled infatuation with your high school daughter's emotionally disturbed best friend, who is baiting you sexually but is secretly still a virgin and just playing tough. That's what we get in American Beauty. Kevin Spacey plays a middle-aged, creepy dad, and Mena Suvari's character is literally supposed to be in high school. Did someone say statutory?
Photo: Moviestore/REX/Shutterstock.
A Perfect Murder(1998)
A tycoon (Michael Douglas) finds out his pretty young wife (Gwyneth Paltrow) is cheating, and decides to have her murdered so he can inherit her immense fortune. Obviously, that goes badly, otherwise what kind of thriller would this be?
Michael Douglas is 71 to Gwyneth's 43, which puts them at a near three-decade age gap. Art mirrors life, in this instance, too, minus the whole "murder for money" thing: Douglas' real-life wife, Catherine Zeta-Jones, is a full quarter century younger than her hubby.
American Pie (1999)
Perhaps the youngest among you won't remember this '90s breakout movie. But those of you who do will likely also recall the, um, amorous affections, between Finch (Eddie Kaye Thomas, currently age 35) and Stiffler's mom (the smokin' Jennifer Coolidge, who turns 55 this year).
Now let's imagine for a second what it would be like to have your high school nemesis become your stepdad. Cue: shudder.
Photo: Moviestore/REX/Shutterstock.
Harold and Maude(1971)
Annoyingly, when Hollywood pairs an older lady with a younger man in a romantic entanglement, the film also goes the kooky route (as if there aren't any normal circumstances when a women in her Golden Years could end up with a perfectly normal younger suitor).
Harold is a 20-year-old obsessed with suicide. Maude is a fun lovin' granny. They meet at a funeral, and together, they discover the true meaning of life. (Sex? Maybe sex.)
Photo: Snap Stills/REX/Shutterstock.
Lolita (1962)
This barely counts as May-December, but we would be remiss not to include it. Recap: Lolita, a.k.a. Dolores Haze, is a girl child. Humbert Humbert, a.k.a. one of the creepiest literary characters in all of history, is the man who loves her and pretty much ruins her life.
Photo: SNAP/REX/Shutterstock.
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Amani Al-Khatahtbeh is the founder and editor-in-chief of Muslim Girl, where a version of this story first appeared. The views expressed here are her own.
Donald Trump doesn’t give a damn about Muslim women.
I demand The Donald to not feign any interest in the status of Muslim women after he has spent an entire year trying to convince the country that we should ban Muslims from entering the United States. He has played one of the most pivotal roles of our American public figures since 9/11 in flaring up anti-Muslim sentiments.
Immediately after he made his comments about a Muslim ban in December 2015, Muslim women feared for their lives again before stepping out of their homes. A sixth-grade Muslim girl allegedly had her hijab ripped off her head before she was beaten and called “ISIS” by a group of boys on the playground last fall. A Muslim woman was shot at as she was leaving a mosque in Tampa, FL, according to the Council on American-Islamic Relations.
Trump’s comments are not surprising. They speak to his complete and unrelenting ignorance of Islam.
Tensions rose so sharply that our staff at MuslimGirl.com felt forced to publish a Crisis Safety Manual for Muslim Women just to help them navigate — no, survive — Trump’s media frenzies. His comments perpetuate the Islamophobic attitudes that compelled us as a Muslim women's media organisation to advise Muslim women at the time to carry their phones charged at all times, know which numbers to call or apps to use to record a hate crime, and consider less conspicuous hijab styles in areas of extreme threat.
Muslim women are the lightning rods of our society’s rampant Islamophobia — and Trump’s response to Ghazala Khan exploits, as well as directly attests to that. He misattributes Khan’s silence beside her husband Khizr onstage at the Democratic National Convention to cultural oppression rather than a Gold Star mother’s grief at losing her son to war. Ironically, the oppression Muslim women fear — and that poses the largest threat to our lives in the U.S. today — is the one that Trump instigates.
Muslim women are the lightning rods of our society’s rampant Islamophobia — and Trump’s response to Ghazala Khan exploits, as well as directly attests to that.
The truth is that Trump’s comments about Ghazala Khan may be the most telling of what would come under his leadership. After all, much of our country’s foreign policy in the Muslim world for the past decade and a half has rested on our society’s perception and misrepresentation of Muslim women.
In 2001, our last Republican president’s wife, first lady Laura Bush, delivered a historic radio address in which she urged the nation to "speak out in horror" about the plight of Afghan women. To rally public support for America’s war in Afghanistan, she called on “civilised” people to rescue Afghan women from the Taliban, speaking on Afghan women’s behalf and insinuating their voicelessness, docility, and passivity.
This effectively silenced the Afghan women on the ground taking active roles in civic society and their own autonomy. In doing so, we laid the foundation for a reckless military intervention in the Middle East that, in retrospect, disproportionately impacted women and children. These are the wars that claimed the lives of Humayun Khan and hundreds of thousands more Muslims in the Muslim world.
Ironically, the oppression Muslim women fear — and that poses the largest threat to our lives in the U.S. today — is the one that Trump instigates.
Trump’s comments are not surprising. They speak to his complete and unrelenting ignorance of Islam. He has invoked radical Islam as a rally cry, will consider removing “heebeejabis” from the TSA along with his ban on Muslim immigration, and attributes terrorist attacks to the Muslim community-at-large.
His entire campaign has rested on kicking our generation’s scapegoat — a marginalised community that has already had to deal with its fair share of hardship, adversity, and racism, much at the expense of Muslim women. Even if we set aside the “moral compass and empathy” that Khizr Khan says is required of any leader, Trump is also lacking a very rudimentary understanding of the issues — as well as the Constitution — that is required for this office. It’s a testament to our country’s politic that he has been able to get this far in the election.
At the very least, it makes me content to know that if Trump were to lose his Islamophobic, racist, sexist, and fear-mongering campaign, it will be in part thanks to an old brown Muslim immigrant with a funny accent, and the proud, strong, resolute Muslim woman standing by his side, as unflinching, unrelenting, and upright as a pillar.
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You probably didn’t need to guess that President Obama is a feminist. He’s never been shy about his love for his daughters, respect for his wife, or belief that women’s rights are human rights. Though his presidency has been marked mainly by achievements for all people (healthcare and marriage equality are just two examples), Michelle Obama’s term as First Lady has been one of the most active and powerful since Hillary Clinton's.
Obama wrote an essay for Glamour about the importance of male feminism, especially when it comes to raising his daughters. He says that he had a major personal breakthrough when he stopped worrying about gender roles and focused on being himself.
“We need to keep changing the attitude that raises our girls to be demure and our boys to be assertive, that criticises our daughters for speaking out and our sons for shedding a tear,” Obama writes. “We need to keep changing the attitude that punishes women for their sexuality and rewards men for theirs.”
First of all, it’s incredible that a sitting president would write an essay like that. Secondly, he’s exactly right. One of the best things about progressive social attitudes is that people can unbox themselves from gender and see that there’s a whole world out there.
And Obama says he’s not raising his daughters to remain silent.
“Michelle and I have raised our daughters to speak up when they see a double standard or feel unfairly judged based on their gender or race — or when they notice that happening to someone else,” Obama writes. “It’s important for them to see role models out in the world who climb to the highest levels of whatever field they choose. And yes, it’s important that their dad is a feminist, because now that’s what they expect of all men.”
Obama highlights the real importance of a father’s example. We often look to our parents to model the ideal relationship. Either we accept their lead or go the complete opposite direction, but most of us are immersed in our parents' attitudes towards each other from pre-consciousness. So for him to model a feminist husband and partner is a key thing to show his daughters. The same would be true, doubly so, if he had had sons.
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Whether it's from her easy-to-follow, engaging beauty tutorials on YouTube, her work with Chanel, Boots No 7 and Lancôme, her debut book Face Paint: The Story of Makeup, or from the countless celebrity faces she's worked on, you've probably heard of Lisa Eldridge. If you haven't, it's time to get acquainted.
Regularly making up the faces of Emma Watson, Kate Winslet, Keira Knightley, Lily Collins, Kate Moss and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Eldridge is the queen of enhancing natural beauty and creating flawless skin. She's also called upon by the biggest brands and publications in fashion to create bold, innovative beauty looks for editorials and campaigns.
We asked the beauty icon (who just so happens to be one of the warmest people in the biz too) to share her tips, tricks and must-have products. Welcome to makeup heaven.
If you had just five minutes to get ready, what would you do/use?
I actually made a tutorial about this for my channel, My 5 Minute Makeup Look (no editing!). It’s the makeup I do most days before work. I focus my foundation on the areas where I feel like I need coverage (usually around my nose and the centre of my face) and team with some pinpoint concealing to cover any marks and blemishes. Then I add a sweep of blusher – it’s a super-quick way to make your face look fresher and more alive (use one with a touch of shimmer to get a highlighter effect.) And I always make time to curl my lashes and apply a couple of coats of mascara – it takes two minutes but it makes the biggest difference to your face.
A photo posted by Lisa Eldridge (@lisaeldridgemakeup) on
What's your hair routine and favourite hair products?
I’m fairly low-maintenance but can’t live without my Tangle Teezer brush – it’s indispensable for long hair like mine that gets tangled easily. I also love hair masks, especially Kérastase and pre-shampoo ones like Michael Van Clarke 3 More Inches and Philip Kingsley Elasticizer. If I’m at home, I sometimes leave a mask in my hair for most of the day! Apart from that if I’m filming I’ll tong it and add a bit of texturising spray.
What’s the product you reach for to take you from day to night?
Not every day, but for a night out or party I might. I also contour my clients, especially again before an event or red carpet appearance. The best contour products are the ones without heavy shimmer – you’re trying to mimic the way your skin looks in natural shadow, which isn’t shimmery or glittery! Powder-wise I like Kevyn Aucoin’s Sculpting Powder and Lancôme Belle de Teint Healthy Skin Powder, and Tom Ford Shade & Illuminate is a great cream contour. Brushes and tools are also really important when contouring; you want to use something small and directional, big fluffy powder brushes don’t work.
Can you remember the first beauty product you bought in your teens?
Concealer. As someone who suffered with acne, once I learnt how to successfully cover my blemishes without looking like I was wearing a mask, my confidence grew and grew. I love makeup for that reason.
What’s the one product that you have re-purchased the most over the years?
MAC Face and Body Foundation – it’s been in my kit for about 20 years and I go through mountains of it. I use it when I want a really light foundation (if you’re not normally a foundation person or don’t like lots of coverage, this is the base for you) and it’s my fail-safe for arms and legs to match everything up. It has a very strong film former so, once it’s dry, it doesn’t budge and won’t come off on clothes. The shade offering is also excellent.
What’s the most expensive, luxury beauty product you own?
My vast collection of Suqqu Cheek Brushes, the only blusher brush I use so I have quite a few in my kit (often on jobs I’m working with lots of different models at the same time.) They’re expensive, but so soft, like a kitten’s paw! And the perfect shape, nicely tapered and not too big. I use it for buildable blush, highlight, powder and bronzer application.
What’s your most trusty highstreet makeup product?
False lashes from Japanese drugstores. I usually buy enough to fill an entire suitcase each time I visit. As there is a huge demand for high quality false lashes in Japan, there’s a lot more choice than you find in Europe or the US. Each drugstore has hundreds of sets piled high, everything from natural and subtle to full-on, crazy styles, with lots of variation in weight, length and featheriness.
Can you remember your worst beauty faux pas?
There are some dodgy photos somewhere from my teens haha… I used to favour using about 10 neon colours on my eyes. I’m all for experimenting with makeup (especially in your teens.) The point of makeup is to have fun and enjoy it, so the odd ‘faux pas’ here and there doesn’t matter.
Favourite mascara and why?
Lancôme Hypnôse Doll Eyes is great for everyday. I like my lashes to look really volumised but, at the same time, individual and not overloaded with product.
Who are your beauty icons?
I have so many! I wrote about a lot them in my book, Face Paint, I call them my ‘Makeup Muses’. I’m fascinated by Theda Bara, the first on-screen vamp, and Greta Garbo who had such a strong, modern style and was very ahead of her time in terms of attitude and look. Then there are more recent icons like Amy Winehouse who was rarely, if ever, seen without her thick slashes of flicked eyeliner. As a teenager and a young woman I was so inspired by Isabella Rossellini's beauty, her personality and everything she stood for, so it was a real ‘pinch myself’ moment when I did her makeup for the first time last year.
Photos: Everett/REX/Shutterstock, PHILIP HOLLIS/REX/Shutterstock.
Favourite lip product?
Like foundation, it changes, but I’m lucky that I got to design a huge range of lipsticks last year for the Lancôme Absolu Rouge relaunch this September. Alongside tweaking and modernising the current bestselling colours I got to create 55 brand new shades and textures. As part of the range I decided to take advantage and include a red just for me (why not!), Idôle – it’s the ultimate feel-good pinky/coral-red that suits many skintones and always makes me feel happy when I wear it.
Which is the one, transformative beauty product that makes you feel your best?
Concealer. It’s my secret weapon for even, flawless skin, and it’s not just for spots or dark circles (though it will of course brilliantly cover that too); if you have pigmentation, redness or unevenness that you want to conceal, without masking your face in foundation, concealer is all you need.
What's your favourite beauty trend/look for summer 2016?
I don’t really believe in trends, I think the same ones come around again and again. For me the best trend is to think for yourself, that’s the one I’m backing this summer! Rather than telling everyone ‘you must contour’ or ‘you must try purple eyeliner’, the most important thing is to develop your own aesthetic, references and influences, and follow your own mood.
Rio de Janeiro is not for the faint of heart. In a city with some of the world’s most famous beaches (think Ipanema and Copacabana), summer is year-round, and a cult of the body is displayed at parks, beaches, and boardwalks. Cariocas (a.k.a. Rio natives) of all ages run, exercise in the sand, swim, and practice all kinds of sports to stay fit. Constantly exposed, the bodies of the Cariocas appear in the collective imagination as tanned and toned, with pert bottoms, thin waists, and large, firm breasts. But the vast majority of residents don’t actually (at least not naturally) look like this. With the enormous pressure to look a certain way, an otherwise-idyllic day at the beach can feel more like a nightmare.
Brazil, a country where the beauty industry has been extremely resilient despite the economic crisis, ranks second in the world — after the United States — in the number of aesthetics-focused plastic surgeries performed. In 2014, more than two million procedures were performed here, or 10% of the world's total. Women are the main customers, but men are starting to go under the knife as well. The largest numbers of procedures take place in São Paulo, the large business capital of the country, and in Rio. The requests in Brazil are not very different from those in other parts of the world. The most demanded procedure is a classic worldwide: larger breasts.
Of course, in an ideal world, no one would feel such pressure to change their look that they'd put themselves through something as drastic, expensive, and potentially dangerous as surgery — but according to the women with whom we spoke for this story, plastic surgery was the right way to express themselves and open themselves up to a new, more confident life. After all, unconditional self-love is a beautiful thing, but choices — and the freedom to decide what's right for you — are beautiful, too. Ahead, we speak to several Cariocas about their plastic surgeries.
Artemis Ahmadi, 30, Costume Designer
For years, Artemis tried all sorts of tricks to conceal her small breasts. Today, she laughingly recalls when, at age 18, a piece of silicone that looked like a chicken cutlet came unglued from her breasts in the heat and fell off in front of everyone. However, at the time, it was no laughing matter.
"I was the only one in my family who had no breasts. I also had no butt, no legs, and my body was not much different than a boy’s. My body was finally developed, but my breasts never grew, and they were a huge frustration," she recalls. "I couldn't take off my blouse in front of men, and showing my breasts immediately killed the mood."
Still, plastic surgery wasn't an easy solution. Beyond the cost of the surgery, there was Artemis' father's opposition. He was from Iran and saw his daughter's desire for surgery as a means of sexualizing her body. At 21, she managed to save up the money and get silicone implants. Artemis could now loosen her bikini ties, which she wore extremely tight to try to raise the small breasts she had, but she is still not comfortable wearing a plunging neckline. Otherwise, she relates how her life has changed: "Only after the surgery, I realized how big my complex was. I was living with this trauma without doing much about it. Today, thank god, I can't imagine life without the operation."
Photographed by Luisa Dorr/VII Mentor Program.
Roberta De Paula Azevedo, 29, Veterinarian
Roberta spent years hearing two phrases that marked her forever, from schoolmates, from men on the street, and even from her friends: "air-bag" and "busty." Having large breasts was a trauma that haunted her for 15 years. "I'm very shy, and I had a huge complex, but I couldn't do the surgery, first because of my age, and then because I had no money," she recalls. When Roberta was 24, her mother, a teacher with a modest salary, gave her the money for surgery to reduce her breasts and insert implants.
She smiles widely when asked about how her life has changed: "For the first time, I could go to a store and buy a bikini. [I] started to wear low-cut tops, went out bra-less for the first time, and stopped feeling ashamed of taking my clothes off.” Roberta says she finally likes herself. "Like any woman, I look at myself in the mirror and complain about a few things. I'd like to have a smaller belly, for example. But there are also some days in which I look at myself, touch my breasts, and think: I love them. I feel good; I accept myself.”
Photographed by Luisa Dorr/VII Mentor Program.
Luciana Vargas De Oliveira, 43, Aesthetician
The arrival of Luciana's second child led to one of the most difficult moments in her life. During her pregnancy, Luciana gained 66 pounds. "I felt as round as a ball; I was stretched out," she recalls three years later. Depressed and unable to take care of herself, she suffered a heart attack. Luciana hired a nutritionist, started to run every day, and decided on breast reduction and liposuction. Surgeons removed more than 6.6 pounds of fat, tissue, and mammary glands. Luciana lost more than 44 pounds in less than one year.
Today, she likes what she sees, although she rarely takes a selfie. "My body is not perfect, of course — you go to the beach and see many beautiful male and female bodies, but for my age, I feel that I look great," she says. Her insecurity has evaporated. "The pressure that society exerts in order to be perfect will only fail to take effect when women understand that their beauty is in the experience in the inner self they cultivate."
Photographed by Luisa Dorr/VII Mentor Program.
Michelle Feller, 45, Businesswoman
Five years ago, Michelle started a potent hormone-based treatment and underwent five surgeries to have two implants in her buttocks and breasts. She also had a rhinoplasty and hair implants. "That greatly improved my self-esteem, and I found my identity. The surgery for transsexuals is not a cosmetic issue, for us it is to be seen as we really are," she explains.
Michelle now feels complete, but after deciding to become who she really was, she was fired. In the eyes of her colleagues at the multinational company where she had worked for 16 years, she was a man. But, almost overnight, she reappeared as Michelle. Her boss couldn't understand the long hair and the painted nails, so he claimed she had low performance in order to fire her. She filed a complaint against him. Today, she is the condominium manager of her building, also manages a student apartment, and faces the biggest challenge of her life: "Being a woman is like going to college; I had to learn to walk and to sit, and society has a permanent eye on me. But it has given me attitude, something you cannot find in any operating room."
Photographed by Luisa Dorr/VII Mentor Program.
Lorraine Barros, 29, Entrepreneur
Lorraine spent her whole childhood obsessed with being an adult and seeing her breasts grow. When she was 17, she had no money but started to think about undergoing surgery. Her father called her crazy. Finally, at age 24, she accompanied her stepmother to a consultation for a rhinoplasty and liposuction. That was when she took off her shirt, showed her breasts, and asked the doctor, "What could they be like?”
She had waited for so long and she was so determined, her father finally acquiesced. "I did not get implants because of fashion. When I was a child, in my head, being a woman was associated with having breasts. When I was 15, I looked like a 10-year-old girl. I felt less womanly and did not like it,” she explains. Lorraine's post-op experience included a month of complications due to an infection. She was even hospitalised. The doctor recommended removing the silicone implants, but Lorraine refused, she recalls as she holds her breasts.
"I told him, 'Doctor, do whatever you want, but you are not going to take this from me.' Today, I would do everything again 20 times over," she says. Lorraine, the daughter of an African-Brazilian man and a Brazilian indigenous woman, deplores the stigma suffered by women in Brazil, who are often judged by what she calls the "Brazilian standard of beauty." "We are turned into objects, right? I did not want to put in too much silicone because I did not want to draw more attention to myself. As a mixed-race woman with big buttocks, I felt very sexualised; people whistled at me on the street, women asked me to cover myself. All that is big in us is seen as vulgar, as sexual. But I really needed to feel more womanly."
Photographed by Luisa Dorr/VII Mentor Program.
Nathally Kaibaltchich, 30, Veterinarian
Nathally spent adolescence and a part of her adult life carrying an air pump around in her bag. During the day, she inflated a machine in her bra and made her breasts miraculously grow. But going to the beach and meeting school friends who might discover her secret was a problem. "I did not like to go with boys or people who knew me. I usually went with female friends, and even then I kept myself isolated. I was very traumatized,” she recalls.
She was not the only one. Along with another friend, also uncomfortable with her body, she began traveling to distant beaches to enjoy the sun far from friends and acquaintances. "She suffered more than I did. And I would only sunbathe on the roof of my house so that I wasn't seen, so imagine that!" After working for a long time as a hostess at events, Nathally put herself in the hands of a surgeon to enhance her breasts when she was 24. And the first thing she did after the surgery was go to the beach. She also renovated her wardrobe. "Today, I’m already a bit tired of it, but for six years I would only use strapless bikinis. It was my dream since childhood, but they never looked good on me.
"There was something lacking in me. Society believes that women should have that kind of body...and, if it's not like that, it's weird," she explains. "All my friends who had no breasts did it."
Photographed by Luisa Dorr/VII Mentor Program.
Alessandra Divino, 39, Teacher
Alessandra reached the age of 33 with a fear of being naked. "I had a horrible complex, my breasts never grew, and they were small and fell in a very ugly way.” But it took some time before she was completely convinced about undergoing surgery. "Despite Brazil having improved access to credit and the fact that the surgeries had become more affordable, the procedure was still a small fortune for me,” she recalls today. But she went for it, placing silicone implants in her breasts and getting liposuction in her abdomen. "It was a kind of ‘now or never,’” she recalls. She even says the procedure changed her personality: "I was very withdrawn and repressed; I was hiding. Today, I’m much stronger and even happier,” she notes.
Still, she flirts with the idea of undergoing a butt lift, but she is cautious: "I really fight against the cultural pressure in Brazil that judges people by their physical looks, but I recognize that I have to force myself not to give in to the pressure. We have to accept that as we age."
Photographed by Luisa Dorr/VII Mentor Program.
Bruna Alvin, 27, Actress & Model
Bruna had a "typically Brazilian" body, and, while she was proud of her small waist and large hips, she had no breasts. "I did not like that; I thought it wasn't proportionate,” she recalls. While Bruna decided to get implants for her own confidence, she acknowledges that due to her work she would likely have needed to undergo the surgery in any case. "The time came when it was essential. Beer campaigns, for example, only want models with silicone. After the surgery, I did at least 10 ads for [beer companies],” she recalls, laughing. All the women in Bruna's circle have had surgeries, she says, including the younger ones, who started with facial procedures very early. "It's something very common in this environment. It is less common outside my circle, but all my friends would like to do something. If someone has not done it yet, it is usually because they cannot for some reason.”
Photographed by Luisa Dorr/VII Mentor Program.
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My boyfriend Steve and I stood, naked, hands on our hips and stared hopelessly at our hire car, its back wheels buried into about a foot-and-a-half of sand. No amount of angry revving or sweary reversing had succeeded in dislodging it. We were stuck. Luckily, at that moment, a naked French man appeared from around a corner and offered to help. The French man and Steve pushed, I put my foot down. A few minutes later we were free. We shook hands with our rescuer and he continued on his way, white bottom vanishing into the sunset. "I need a shower," said Steve. "Sand is everywhere."
We were at CHM Montalivet, the world’s oldest naturist resort, founded in 1953. Today, the resort is 175 hectares set in a pine forest and bordered by a huge section of white sand beach on the Atlantic coast. There are around 1000 private bungalows on site, some of them owned by families who live there permanently, others let out to tourists in the summer months. There is a corner shop, a boulangerie, a newsagent, a hardware store, a bicycle rental, several bars and restaurants, two swimming pools, a spa, an archery range, tennis courts, a cinema and a hairdresser. It’s a town, really. A naked town.
It’s worth pointing out that normally I’m the kind of woman who sunbathes in a one-piece swimsuit and would rather die than take part in naked yoga. I live in Shoreditch, where it’s fair to say appearances do count for something. I’d describe my body as almost exactly average. I’ve gained a bit of weight since quitting smoking and I care about this enough to occasionally order a salad, enough to join a gym. But nowhere near enough to do a juice cleanse, or hire a personal trainer. I don’t hate my body, but that doesn’t mean I want strangers to see it either. I am not a naturist, I suppose is what I’m saying. Or, at least, I wasn’t, until a couple of weeks ago. To be honest, after a four day stay at a naturist resort, I’m still not quite sure what the criteria are, really. For being a naturist, I mean.
Around the resort, friendly signs featuring a cartoon family romping naked through the woods ask visitors to “Respect our values”. But it wasn’t a case of 24/7 nudity. In the evening, you’d generally dress for dinner, an item of etiquette Steve learned the hard way on our first night, after walking through a crowded restaurant wearing a t-shirt but nothing else, meat-and-two-veg hanging free; roughly at eye level for the dozens of people seated, enjoying their wine and moules mariniere. This was, to be fair, the opposite (and therefore, I suppose, equal) faux pas to one I’d committed myself earlier that day. Carrying our towels and parasols down the walkway to the beach, a friendly resort rep had jogged after us. “Excuse me,” he said, gesturing at my shorts, “Please, is it possible?” He pointed to a very large sign that I’d somehow missed, in French it read; “Beach 100% naturist.” The shorts had to go.
You don’t check into a naturist resort without expecting to take your clothes off. At least, not unless you’re very stupid and/or exceptionally culturally insensitive. Although, as with most things in life, I’d taken a cross-each-bridge-as-I-come-to-it approach. As it turns out, when it comes to public nudity, cross one bridge and you’ve pretty well crossed them all. I took the shorts off and nobody looked, nobody pointed, nobody laughed. Obviously not. Everyone else was naked too. Within seconds the moment had passed and I was just one naked person on a beach with a lot of other naked people. It has nothing at all to do with what you look like. On a beach, being naked just makes good practical sense. No swimsuit for sand to get all caught up in, no tan lines to worry about. And once you’ve been naked on a beach, why not at a bar, or in a corner shop, or a swimming pool? We’re all just people. Various sizes and shapes and levels of hairiness and wrinkliness and tan, but, basically all the same.
The following day, with my boobs and bum slightly sunburnt, Steve and I were sitting at the beachside bar, drinking beer from plastic cups and talking to a lovely retired American couple, with syrupy Deep South accents. We all enthused about the flawless French weather, swapped tips on the best local places for dinner. We bitched about Brexit and Donald Trump. We spoke about our jobs back home, which felt very far away. The man had been a U.S. Army Colonel. By definition an intimidating character, but not here. They’d been coming to the resort, every year, for over 20 years. Being naked, I realised, doesn’t expose you at all – it makes you anonymous and equal. Flying home to headlines and TV reports filled with hatred and division, there’s something very comforting in having discovered a place where people are just people. Next summer, we’re going back.
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The UK arm of the Black Lives Matter movement is holding coordinated rallies in London, Birmingham and Nottingham today.
This morning, a group of protestors in London lay down in the road on the approach to Heathrow airport, causing "traffic chaos", The Guardian reported. They held a banner that read: "This is a crisis."
London's Metropolitan police said a number of people were arrested. A spokesperson for Heathrow airport apologised to "passengers whose journeys are being disrupted", and said the airport is "working with the authorities to resolve the issue".
Activists also blocked the road to the city's airport in Birmingham, while they chanted “No justice, no peace”. Four women and one man were arrested just before 7.30am on the A45 in Solihull, close to Birmingham airport, according to a West Midlands police spokeswoman.
Protestors also lay in the middle of tram lines in Nottingham city centre, blocking traffic. A spokesperson for Nottinghamshire police said: “Officers are currently on scene and are negotiating with a small number of protesters," The Guardian reported.
"It is believed that the unplanned demonstration is in line with a national #BlackLivesMatter protest. Our priority will remain the safety of everyone involved and to bring the demonstration to a peaceful conclusion.”
Black lives matter protest Nottingham town centre, chained themselves to the floor, all trams and most buses stopped pic.twitter.com/Z8hWeNRVSK
The action comes a day after the five-year anniversary of the death of Mark Duggan and is part of #BlackAugust, a campaign to raise awareness of racism and police brutality.
The #BlackLivesMatterUK group previously announced on Twitter that they were calling for a "nationwide shutdown". The Facebook event page says: "5 years ago. 1 day after they killed Mark Duggan. 1 day before the riots. A moment for rage, reflection and rebuilding. A moment for coordinated nationwide action."
Snapchat has unveiled two Frank Ocean filters in advance of the reclusive R&B star's new album, Boys Don't Cry, which is due to drop today.
The album still hadn't been released at midday (UK time) and the people at Snapchat seem to be sharing our pain. It's been four years since the monumental Channel Orange came out.
Frustrated Frank Ocean fans in selected countries can use the filters to tell others how bored they are of waiting for the album, or to commiserate others. One shows a skeleton alongside the very understandable quip: “Waiting for Frank Ocean’s music like".
The other filter is in the style of the Mac’s TextEdit window – which Frank Ocean has used to share statements before – and the words: "Dear Frank Ocean..."
Earlier this week, the New York Times said the album would be released on Friday the 5th of August. While we're bored of watching the mysterious livestream on Ocean's website, the day is young so we haven't given up hope just yet...
Follow us on Facebook to watch us discussing Boy's Don't Cry – the album itself (hopefully) and the build up – at 5pm today on Facebook Live.
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I grew up in New Jersey. Not the part of New Jersey that's been made famous thanks to shows like Jersey Shore, The Sopranos, or even The Real Housewives of New Jersey. I grew up in the part of New Jersey with zero beaches and even less drama. By the time I was 18, I was over it. My teenage angst was further amplified by the fact that in the summer of 2003, I had just broken up with the first boy I had ever loved. I was getting ready to go to college, but I was only going to Pennsylvania. It wasn't far enough away from my humdrum formative years and recent heartbreak. The summer was progressing in a swirl of depression and monotony. I wanted to be far, far away, in someplace like...California.
Then, Seth Cohen appeared in my life.
On August 5, 2003, The O.C. premiered on FOX. It was everything I needed during that terrible summer. The trailer promised all the deliciously soapy hallmarks of a teen show set in a world that's traditionally kept behind closed doors. Ryan Atwood (Ben McKenzie) is a smart guy from the wrong side of the tracks who gets caught stealing a car. His county-appointed lawyer, Sandy Cohen (Peter Gallagher), sees Ryan's potential and takes Ryan to live with his family in the affluent community of Newport Beach in Orange County, California. It's a classic fish-out-of-water story, and viewers are meant to have a voyeuristic view of the posh, upscale world of Newport through Ryan's eyes.
Back to the Cohens, though. Sandy Cohen is one of the best TV dads ever. He's a classic New York Jew (my people) who's been transplanted to California, so he's a bit of a fish out of water himself, and that's why he feels like Ryan is a kindred spirit. He's married to Kirsten (Kelly Rowan) — she of the later-season drinking problem, constant facial grimace, and introduction of yogalates to the masses.
They have a son named Seth (Adam Brody). I love him, and not just because of his adorable face and gangly body. He has the exact type of neurotic-yet-sure-of-himself personality that speaks directly to my soul. He doesn't fit in at all in Orange County, so he's spent most of his life developing his hobbies and creative pursuits. Seth is an avid sailor. He loves comic books. He has a horse named Captain Oats in whom he confides — and somehow this is cute, not childish. He's sarcastic and quick with the quips, but not in a mean or hurtful way. He invented Chrismukkah, the new holiday that's "sweeping the nation — or at least the living room."
Photo: Snap Stills/REX Shutterstock.
Until Ryan arrives, Seth is a total loner, and I just want to shake all the obnoxious girls at his school who've been overlooking him for years. Have they seen him? Dude is adorable. Seth Cohen is just the beginning of the wave of TV characters who are clearly already great in high school, but the rest of the world won't truly recognise their awesomeness until much later in life. It's fine, Seth. I see you. I also wouldn't fit in among the Newport Beach elite (unless they secretly appreciate cynicism and skin so pale it's translucent), and I feel like my personality didn't really hit its stride until I hit 21 or so.
Many people credit Seth Cohen/Adam Brody with formulating the "adorkable" ideal long before Zooey Deschanel, but that's not at all why I love him. When I look at Seth Cohen, I see someone who's comfortable being alone — because he knows how to deal with sadness and anxiety — but also wants to use humour to make friends and connections. He's a kindred spirit, and not just because of the Jewish neuroses we share.
Sure, Seth Cohen makes mistakes. He's a teenager, after all. Once Ryan joins the Cohen family, Seth starts gaining confidence now that he finally has a friend. This leads him to having his first romantic encounters with not just one but two girls (Rachel Bilson and Samaire Armstrong). Sure, he kind of jerks them both around. But Seth Cohen was basically living my best life in the summer of 2003. He was experiencing the same heartbreak I was, for the very first time, but he wasn't letting it destroy him the way mine was. I couldn't decide whether I wanted to emulate him, date him, or both. Probably both, even though he'd probably leave me for his one true love, Summer Roberts (Bilson).
It's hard to separate Adam Brody from Seth Cohen. He recently starred in a Neil LaBute show called Billy & Billie (he played the first Billy), and I was kind of in love with the character he played on that show, too. Never mind that Billy is extremely self-centred, not particularly thoughtful, and isn't a good boyfriend. After finishing Billy & Billie, I needed to get back to Brody basics, so I decided to re-watch The O.C. to see if my feelings for Seth Cohen still ran nearly as deep 12 years later. They did.
And if you happen to know a real-life Seth Cohen, please have him email me. We could get together for bagels...or burritos.
Photo: Courtesy of Fox.
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What can you tell about someone from a pair of legs? Well, it turns out, a fair bit. A photo editor for The New York Times Magazine, Stacey Baker has spent the last three years roaming the streets of Manhattan and asking women if she can photograph their lower halves. It’s an interesting concept and one that has led to a wonderfully vibrant Instagram page that celebrates diversity. Here you’ll find all sorts of shapes, sizes and fashion senses. It truly is a celebration of women as well as the Big Apple's eclectic style. Baker has also taken her project to other locations including London, France and a number of U.S. cities, but NY remains her focus. The women are presented anonymously, only the location of where they were photographed accompanies their picture.
Now the Instagram page with 78,000 fans has been turned into a book, New York Legs, to be published by Kehrer Verlag on 10th of August.
In the book's introduction, Kathy Ryan, Director of Photography at The New York Times Magazine notes how Baker ensures uniformity among such range:
“She always frames them so the subject is cut off at the waist. She rigorously stages these photographs, asking the muse to stand in front of a gritty, textured wall, and composing each image so the heels line up with the horizon line where the wall meets the chewing-gum-pocked sidewalk, and always framing it so the thin strip of pavement takes up about a sixth of the picture. By following this disciplined approach, Baker has figured out a way to commandeer a portrait studio out of the chaos of midtown Manhattan.”
Check out some of the colourful bottom halves of the women of NY ahead...
Indie artist Hayley Kiyoko made major waves on the music scene last year with the video for her single "Girls Like Girls." The stirring clip featured two teens struggling to accept their sexual identities, and has since garnered nearly 43 million views. Now, Kiyoko is back with "Gravel to Tempo," the first single off her upcoming fall EP Citrine.
On the breathy, enchanting tune, Kiyoko sings about feeling inadequate, before defiantly declaring on the chorus, "I'll do this my way, don't matter if I break...I gotta be on my own." And, just like with "Girls Like Girls," Kiyoko isn't afraid to send a pointed message in the video, which she directed herself. In a nostalgic portrait of teenage angst, Kiyoko is a melancholy high schooler who eventually finds her freedom by joyfully dancing in front of a group of popular girls. Essentially, she fulfils all our fantasies of beautifully giving haters the middle finger.
The 25-year-old tells Refinery29 that as soon as she wrote the song, she knew exactly what kind of video she wanted to create for it. "From the beginning of writing that song, I envisioned myself in front of all the girls I had crushes on in high school," she says. "I remember so well what it was like to idolise other people and look for validation from them. But then I grew up, and I realized: The only validation I need is from myself."
Kiyoko says she was surprised by the widespread reaction to "Girls Like Girls," but it was an encouraging reminder of the power of music. She hopes the dreamy visual for "Gravel to Tempo" — and her EP Citrine — will push listeners and viewers toward a place of self-acceptance. "My goal is to inspire my fans to find happiness in themselves earlier on, so they don't have such a tough time growing up," she says. "The world is a hard, difficult place right now. But it can feel a little bit easier if you believe in yourself."
Watch the Refinery29 debut of "Gravel to Tempo" below.
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Here at Refinery29, we don't believe that any approach to sex is one-size-fits-all. Different techniques work for different people (with different partners, and at different times). That said, we have collected quite a few tried-and-tested tips that sex therapists, sex toy experts, and sex-having people swear can help you reach orgasm (and maybe even orgasms). No, orgasm isn't the be-all-end-all of sex, but it's part of the gamut of sexual experience, and a pretty great one at that.
Unfortunately, the orgasm gap is alive and well, and far fewer women than men are reaching climax on a regular basis. It's true that there are many reasons behind this inequity, from inadequate sex ed to continued, society-wide disregard for women's sexual satisfaction. To the extent that you can take action to experience the pleasure you'd like, though, you deserve to. That's why we're collecting some of our best tips for achieving orgasm here. Click through to review some you may know and discover others you may not have heard, and check back as we continue to add to the list.
Easy on the clitoris.
The clitoris is a highly sensitive little organ: It has at least 8,000 nerve endings to the penis's 4,000, and these 8,000 interact with up to 15,000 additional nerve endings throughout the pelvis. While we're grateful for every one of 'em, we're also aware that clitoral over stimulation can jeopardise our ability to achieve a second (or even first) orgasm. Touching the clit directly on its head can be borderline painful and force you to pause the action before you're ready, so try stroking (rather than rubbing) the hood or the side, or even stimulating it through underwear if it's particularly sensitive. Then, switch it up: have your partner lick and suck your clit; gently massage and squeeze the labia; insert a few fingers if you're into penetration; then return to clitoral stimulation. This rotation will help you continue to build toward climax without sending your clit into unresponsive overdrive.
Photographed By Natalia Mantini.
Warm up with a pelvic workout.
This tip comes from Zoë Ligon, founder and CEO of sex toy retailer Spectrum Boutique and proponent of pre-sex Kegels. "I sometimes have a hard time feeling physically aroused even if I am mentally aroused," she shared with us. "If I know I'll be hooking up with my partner shortly, I'll do pelvic floor exercises beforehand... Not only does it strengthen your PC muscle in the long run (the same muscle that contracts during orgasm), it also gets blood flowing to the genitals, which increases sensitivity." Think of this as your sexual warm-up lap.
Photographed By Natalia Mantini.
Your G-spot could be the key.
I once interviewed a woman who, at 26 years old, had never had an orgasm — either alone or with a partner. She knew that "sexual repression" wasn't the cause: "It became a really loaded thing for me because I felt like something was wrong with me, and I felt like my body just wasn’t capable of orgasm," she told me. "The other thing that really drove me insane is everyone was like, 'Oh, it’s because you’re not emotionally available — it’s your fault because you’re disconnected.' I actually feel more like myself when I’m having sex than at any other time!"
She proved these accusers wrong while hooking up with a casual acquaintance whose fingering technique brought her to orgasm, not once, but three times in a row. "It turns out that this very specific thing makes me squirt," she explained. "Someone has to press on my stomach really hard and finger me really hard, and they have to be sitting up while I’m lying down. I don’t have to be psychologically connected at all — it’s very technical!" Try come-hither fingering moves or sex toys tailored to stimulate those sensitive tissues on the front wall of your vagina.
Photographed By Natalia Mantini.
Don't discount the power of anal pleasure.
Contrary to (a somewhat) popular belief, anal intercourse can be immensely pleasurable for both the giver and the receiver — and some women swear by the combination of anal and clitoral stimulation. Perhaps the most important step in trying anal play is to prepare yourself mentally. "If you think anal sex is going to hurt, you prepare for that, tighten up in fear, and it does," sex psychologist David Ley, PhD, told us. "If you prepare to enjoy it, negotiate it, prepare your body for it, and discuss ways to manage the experience, then discomfort is absent or greatly lessened." And besides, many women describe any pain that comes from anal sex as the "good" or pleasurable kind — the kind that enhances rather than detracts from pleasure.
Photographed By Natalia Mantini.
Treat yourself (to a new toy).
"Masturbation is a huge part of overall wellness, and it’s a healthy expression of a person’s sexuality," Tristan Weedmark, We-Vibe's "Global Passion Ambassador," told Refinery29. "It's the best way to find out what brings you pleasure, which makes you a better sexual partner" — and the majority of women in a recent survey by We-Vibe identified using a toy as the "the best way to spice up" their masturbation routines. Peruse our pleasure-product picks here, but also consider visiting a brick-and-mortar sex toy retailer to speak with an experienced employee about what might be the best toy(s) for you.
Photographed By Natalia Mantini.
Lube lube lube lube lube.
You've heard it before and we're (anal) plugging it again: Lube is one of the single easiest ways to transform your experience of sex. What you may not know is how much lube can improve solo sex. The next time you masturbate, apply a pea-sized drop of lube or stimulating gel to your clit and observe the difference. This can be especially helpful if your clit tends to feel overly sensitive after you've been masturbating for a while but before you've had an orgasm; the lube creates a thin barrier between clit and fingers or toy and makes the stimulation less direct.
Photographed By Natalia Mantini.
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These days, everyone's a photographer. Especially in the world of fashion, Instagram is the place to show off your skills. The only problem? Everyone is so accustomed to seeing the same mirror selfies, fitting-room snaps, or "effortless" crossing-the-street shots when scrolling through their feeds.
But keeping up with the endless style content being pushed out on the platform isn't the only obstacle for Instagram users to overcome — actually getting noticed in such a saturated scene is half the battle. It requires some serious creativity; that's why we're looking to some of our favourite Insta-pros for inspiration on how to stand out from the crowd. Click on to find the creative differentiator that suits your feed. Then, sit back and watch those Likes and followers roll right in.
Let Nature Do The Talking
One of the easiest ways to make your outfit photo stand out in a sea of #OOTDs is to have an epic backdrop; skip the blank walls and let the scenery add visual interest.
Various apps allow you to put two photos side by side for added interest. Plus, utilising white space helps elevate your feed, making it feel more editorial.
For photo purposes, sometimes more is more — especially when it comes to jewellery. Pile the pieces on high so people can't help but do a double- take tap when they scroll by.
